Hidden Lives Revealed. A virtual archive - children in care 1881-1981 * Image of handwritten text

Day 54

Photograph that inspired this poem or story

outdoor ward

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As I lay back in mid-air almost, I can just about feel my mother's presence. It is night but I am still out side, the maid said I must stay out until I get better. But we all know I am too far gone with it now so I guess all I can do is wait. At this stage my life is meaningless I have no mother and who knows if my father is still alive. My brothers and sisters are all separated. Scatter family the others call us, so maybe I should die. At least I would be with my mother. How much I miss her. The trees were blowing in the wind but I can't feel a thing. They have me wrapped up so tight. Every now and then I let out a little cough. Some nights it's really bad and the nurses come rushing out to me but I don't care all I can think about is my siblings and how they are. In this place they don't tell you anything about your family. I am sick. Sick of worry. Sick of life. Sick of having nothing to look forward to. They leave me outside all day and night tipped upside down. They say its to let the fluid drain out of my lungs, that's why I am always coughing. To bring up fluid. I feel around for the toy soldier my father gave to me. He said its to remember him and whenever I am down, to hold it tight and think of him. What I would do to go back in time. Back to the days where we were a family, no one had any idea this was going to happen. When my dad went off to the army he said it would only be for a short time. Now look, I am motherless, separated from my brothers and sisters and god knows whats happened to my father. But what can I do. So I might as well go to sleep. I will have to get up soon any way, for my daily routine.

by a pupil at The Charter School

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